I know this will come as a shock to the denizens of New York City and even nearby New Jersey, but 90% of the country has no idea how you live or even where you live. Yes, we all have vague ideas about New York City being a big port on the Northeast Coast, and we’ve all seen images the Triangle Building, Times Square, and the Statue of Liberty, even though if you ask any of us which part of New York City the statue is in, the reply will be something like, “Uh, the ocean?” Also probably fewer than half of us know that the statue faces outwards across the ocean rather than inwards towards the city.
Yes, I know, there’s the famous New Yorker cartoon, but that does nothing to enlighten the rest of the US. Many of my fellow benighted ones might not care about the difference between Brooklyn and The Bronx, but such ignorance ill betides us now that we have a president born in Queens who made his fortune as an upstart outsider in Manhattan. We in the sticks just think, “Why would all those New Yorkers look down on him? He’s a native New Yorker, isn’t he?” Maybe you can see why I would be concerned.
Others among us live in Southern California where every waiter wants to be either an actor or a screenwriter. How can we do that when we live in places where counties contain cities rather than the other way around? Our ignorance is only compounded when nearly every movie or TV image of New York City since the 70’s is shot in Toronto. How are budding surfing screenwriters going to write for Law & Order and its many spawn when none of us can tell how to get from Brooklyn to Staten Island?
“Uh, take the subway?”
“No, you mook. Haven’t you ever heard of the Staten Island Ferry?”
“Is that some gay guy from Queens?”
You see the problem. So, before it’s too late, I appeal to Hollywood, for its own sake and certainly for ours, to please write a guide to New York City before all your imported writers from New York die like Neil Simon or move to some sanctuary country like Woody Allen. Oh, and when you’re finished with that, could you write an appendix about these places called Jersey, The Hamptons, and even Long Island?
1. Manhattan (New York County) 2. Brooklyn (Kings County) 3. Queens (Queens County) 4. The Bronx (Bronx County) 5. Staten Island (Richmond County) Note: JFK and LGA airports are both located in Queens (marked by brown).
Musings of a Restless Mind 